Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Justin and Vana

Justin climbed the stairs of his house. His wife, Cassie had gone up twenty minutes ago to nurse the baby back to sleep. Four kids had left them exhausted. Especially with the youngest a few months old and not sleeping longer than three hours. But Cassie seemed affected more. 
They fought weekly about their sex life. Last time they fought, his twenty-year-old sister-in-law, who lived with them, overheard and offered to relieve his frustration. He turned her down at the time. 
Two days later, Cassie let him fuck her. The satisfaction had lasted for several days, but it was a week past, the satisfaction had worn off.
Cassie said she was putting the baby back in the crib, he hoped her words were a subtle hint that he'd get laid again.
She lifted her head when he came in. 
“He’s asleep already?” he hissed.
“Yeah, back in his own crib even.”
He quickly undressed and slipped into bed. He cupped her cheek and she yawned. “Don’t you have to be up early in the morning?”
“That’s what you’re going with?”
“Not all of us get to sleep through the night.”
“Like he doesn't disrupt my sleep?”
“You don’t have to get up four times to nurse and rock him back to bed.”
“You say that as if it’s my fault. As if I want him to wake up, as if I wasn't happy with three.”
“And there it is, the real reason you are mad at me. You didn't want a fourth child. Well, I didn't hear you say no when I brought it up for discussion.”
“I wanted to make you happy. I had no idea that it would kill your sex drive. Before, you were always the one who wanted it more.”
“Again, I’m sorry that taking care of your four children all damn day leaves me so drained I don’t have energy.”
He slid out of bed and pulled his robe on. “I’m going to go watch television,” he said. “Before we say things we don’t really mean. I’m frustrated Cassie, really frustrated and I don’t know what to do.”
“Me neither,” she said, quietly and he slipped out of the room. He glanced at the bathroom but the light was off, which meant, hopefully, Savana was sleeping and hadn't heard the argument.
He stopped by the fridge and cracked a beer open. Then he continued to the living room, where he found Savana, with one knee curled up against her chest and one foot on the floor.
“Shit, I came to watch some television. I thought you’d gone to bed.”
“I couldn't fall asleep, so I came down.”
“You overheard us.”
“It wasn't the reason I was coming down, I was passing through the hallway when I heard. Come sit and watch.”
“Maybe I’ll go to bed.” He didn't move to leave.
She uncurled her leg from her body and he took in her skimpy outfit. Just a sheer, flowing top. He didn't dare try to follow it down to see where it ended or what she wore to cover her
She shook his head “Just sit down. Can I have a drink from your beer?”
He sat and held it out for her. “Why not?”
She tipped it back into her mouth then handed it back. They sat in silence for a few minutes while they watched Jersey Shore on the television.
She looked at him. “Do you want me to listen while you talk about it?”
“No, it’s not even her fault. We have different needs and I don’t know how to fix it.”
She gave his neck a gentle squeeze. “How about a neck massage then? My hands are pretty strong.”
He knew he should say no. He was at his breaking point and letting the sexy young woman under his roof touch him was probably a very bad idea. “Sure,” he said.
He turned and she knelt behind him. Her fingers pressed into his tense muscles and her breath was warm into his hair. He closed his eyes and let her fill his senses. The floral of her perfume. The cool pressure of her hands. Her hair brushing his neck and her breasts pressing against his back.
In his mind, her hand slid around his body and into his robe. Her hand massaging him in a whole new way.
He shook his head as he pulled himself from that fantasy. Her hands still kneaded into his shoulders. It was too late, however, his body reacted to the idea and to her touch and smell.
He squeezed his eyes shut as he took her hand and guided it around his body. He rubbed it over his chest, brushing his nipples, then down to his stomach. He didn't have a six-pack, but he was in damn good shape. He stopped her hand on his lower stomach and pulled away. His pulse wooshed in his ears.
She pulled him back against him and rubbed both hands over his thighs. Then she brushed against his erection. He hissed in a breath. Then he moaned from his throat, when she wrapped her fingers around the hard length and stroked.

“Are you sure?” she whispered into his ear.
Vana felt her heart pounded as she stroked Justin’s cock. Sweet yes. “Are you sure?” she asked.
“Don’t stop,” he said and jumped in her hand.
She used her other hand to stroke the soft skin stretched over his balls and to touch the tender skin behind them.
He needed to be inside her when he came. Since intercourse was out of the question, a taste wouldn't be so bad.
She pulled away and moved around him. “Van, we can’t
“I I know. I wasn't going to, I need to taste you.”
She slipped to the floor behind his legs and pulled at the tie of his robe. For a moment she stared at him, then she took him in hand and making a circle with her mouth she sucked him in.
She raised her eyes in time to see him lean back against the sofa as his moans met her ears.
She bobbed her head up and down him, while her tongue swirled and her mouth created sweet pressure. With one hand she slipped between his legs and caressed his sac, until he groaned. He leaned down, “I can’t make too much noise.”
Vana let her mouth pop, “She’ll think you’re watching porn and jacking off.”
She redoubled her efforts until he grabbed her hair. He held her and thrust into her, while she grinned, trying to maintain suction.
She felt his legs shudder first then he exploded in a salty burst into her mouth. She slipped backward and pushed it down her throat.
When she recovered, she leaned against his knees, inhaling the sexy scent of just cummed male. “I know we can’t go all the way, but maybe you could
He stood before she could finished. “I have an early day, I have to get to bed.”
That was the reason to make sure her needs were met before his were. She sighed and went to the fridge. She pulled out one of his beers and opened it, taking a long pull. She wasn't sure if she should be thrilled or annoyed.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

These eyes ...

I'm being haunted by beautiful eyes. They smile at me and crinkle at the corners. They are warm and sexy. And they make me feel beautiful.

They seem to belong to an angel, my angel.

I am loved. Wholly.

The eyes are set in a beautiful face, attached to a beautiful body.

Sometimes, the daydream extends to the physical act of "making love". Having sex.

Sometimes, just holding on to me. Cuddling. Extending physical comfort makes my heart open, my soul sing and my muscles relax.

I want to write this. To share the story, but it feels too intimate.

It's also unfinished. And ever changing. Flowing.

It's just a fantasy. Writing it makes seem more real.

Also I'm dealing with another bout of depression. My first in more than five years. I want to just wallow and whine and give in to the apathy. I have to fight this compulsion to give in.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Vanilla no go

I tried to masturbate using a vanilla fantasy again. 

It's impossible. 

Unless there is some power imbalance in the relationship, it never works.

 If there isn't some force, reluctance, non-consent tint to the situation, it never works. Usually it's just outright abuse. 

Sometimes, I feel broken. 

I heard Barbara Carrellas on a radio interview and she said she was talking to an abuse survivor and the survivor felt guilty about her fantasies. She told the women that her fantasies were just fantasies, and she should embrace that she could bring herself to orgasm with her mind. 

I shared this blog with a friend and he pointed out how lacking my last post was. At first I was a bit defensive. But I came to realize it was true. It wasn't my best effort. It was a friend I hadn't talked to in several years. It felt like the universe sent me the message "DO BETTER." So I will try to honor that. 

So thanks for constructive criticism. I will do better. I sent my next book to my editor, so I'm working on something for the blog. This one has a more romantic tone.

http://asraidevin.tumblr.com/  Something I've been playing with. Highly infrequent.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013


He grabbed my hair and pulled just enough to make sure I was paying attention. I felt his breath on my ear and cheek before I heard his voice. His other hand was between my legs, tracing the outline of my slit through my sopping underwear.

"I don't need to ask you. I can feel it, right here. Tell me what a slut you are."

The words got stuck in my throat. My lips moved soundlessly.

His grip on my hair tightened and I yelped. I shuddered as his tongue flicked my earlobe. "Tell me, slut. Tell me how much you like being teased."

My voice shook, but I got the words out. "I love when you tease me. It makes me so wet." Cough. "Sir."

He relaxed a little. His finger slipped under the crotch and rewarded me with skin to skin contact. "That's my girl."

I closed my eyes as his finger swirled around my clit. He removed his hand and a moment later it was pressed against my lips. Without instruction, I sucked the digit into my mouth and licked it clean of my juices.

"Such an eager slut. Would a spanking help you slow down?"

I shook my head. "I doubt it Sir."

He stroked my ass. Then he slapped it. It made a nice crack and my eyes flew open. "Would a little pain turn you on?"

I nodded eagerly. "Yes. Yes, please."

He slapped me again. "Another time." He grabbed my panties and pulled them down, leaving me in only a peach tank-top. He pushed me forward to kneel on the bed. "What do you want?"

"You to fuck me."

His hand slipped from my hair.

I turned to watch him removing his pants and boxers. His cock waved at me. I felt a surge through my body.

He shook his head.

My shoulders sagged. He wasn't going to fuck me even?

"I'm going to fuck you, love." He caressed my ass. "Don't worry."

He grabbed my hair again, yanking my head back. His cock pressed against my ass. "Do you want it?"

I nod, vigorously, unable to say it aloud.

"Ask me then."

"Fuck me," I whisper.

His free hand winds between our bodies and pinches my nipple. "You're a slut. You can beg me better than that. Think how much you want it. Spread your legs a little further."

I spread my legs and try again. "Fuck my ass Sir. I want to feel you come in my ass."

He slaps my bare pussy. The shock waves roll through my body for several moments. Or hours. "I want to hear how you'll enjoy it."

"I want you to fuck my ass sir. I need my ass filled with your cock, making me come over and over. I need you to fuck me like a dirty whore. I need your cock. All I want is to feel you inside me."

He slides himself home. My ass stretching from his girth. The rest of my body quivering with anticipation.

He yanks my head back without warning and starts fucking me. Pounding my ass, making me squel with pain and moan with pleasure.

His free hand pinches my clit, twisting it. I let out a deep moan. I mutter his name and he yanks on the nub. "Sir," I quickly amend. "Master."

He slides one finger, then two inside my pussy and I thrust my hips trying to ride them.

And finally, gloriously, the orgasm hits me. Shocks of pleasure making my legs shake.

I slide to the floor as the door closes behind me.

No apologies

Story to be up in a bit. No apologies for my absence. No promises to post more often now that I'm back. Just something I wrote a bit ago and saw on my desktop tonight and thought I'd post.

Maybe there will be more, maybe not.

The problem with writing erotica, smut, porn, is I get turned on. And I just want to get off and once I get off, I have no interest in continuing writing. I have this idea for a novel, maybe a novella, but I write part of a scene, get off and then I'm done.

At least my libido is back.

Monday, October 08, 2012

Post-50 Shades world

I am trying to get back to writing the Slave story. It's difficult in a post-50 Shades of Gray world to write erotica/BDSM with a slightly older dominant male and a younger submissive female who is new to the BDSM.
I  have read FSOG. It was mediocre. Reminded me of an romance from the 70's where a young virgin was introduced to the pleasures of the flesh by an older male. The sex had it's moments, but was particularly interesting, it turned me on enough to go search out something that titillated me.
I thought Christian Grey was a poor dom. He knew Ana had no experience with sex or S&M and instead of introducing her slowly, he threw her in the deep end with no life jacket  On the first date, he gave her a non disclosure form to sign and then demanded that she sign a contract to be his submissive, no getting to know each other, no testing the waters, no introduction to the lifestyle
Of course, since then I've read the author, E.L. James, knows nothing about BDSM. (Not that I'm an expert). There is suggestions that the author considers anyone into S&M mentally ill. And that the goal of the novel was to fix Mr. Grey from his 50 shades of fucked-upness by curing him of his need to beat women. Excepting that's not what S&M is about.
Anyway, I"m struggling with writing Slave and Master D and Lila (whose name is subject to change, because  Lila factors heavily into Chantal's story- and Chantal, it turns out, is not Slave. Chantal is far too experienced, far too cynical and worldly. Slave is naive and meek).
Ironically, while I've been away from this blog, I have been writing romances that have continually less sex in them. My latest draft has one scene that could be skipped all together.
Anyway, I am hoping to get back into writing smut. New works coming very soon I hope.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Finishing Up: Chantal Part 3: Third Times the Charm

I know this serial story should be better titled, but onward.
Part 1 of Third Time's the Charm
Part 2 of Third Time's the Charm

Chantal sat up and slid off the bed at William's command. Master's command, she amended herself. She didn't think her legs would hold her up, but there she stood before him. She wanted to touch herself somewhere and end the fire.

He slapped her ass without warning. That pain jumped to the front of her brain. "You must always kneel before me." She wanted to protest that he didn't tell her that. She was sure that would earn her another slap, so she kept quiet. He must have guessed her thoughts as she hesitated, because he spanked her twice more. The pain spurred her into motion. She moved to her knees.

He slapped a breast instead. Pain surged through her body. "That was because I wanted to slut. You'll learn what I want in time." He pulled his belt from his pants. He held it in one hand as he pushed his pants down around his ankles. He slapped her breast again. "Open your mouth."

She opened and he guided his dick into her mouth. She sealed her mouth around him. "Good girl," he said. He grabbed the back of her hair and moved her mouth back and forth on his dick. He tested her by pressing and holding deep in her mouth. Each time a little deeper. Each time she fought and lost the gagging feeling his thrusting caused.

He didn't seem to care. He held her head still, his fingers pulling her hair painfully, while he thrust into her mouth. The pain was a welcome distraction from the gagging and the pain in her breasts. And then he pressed in deep one last time and held there. His spurt hit the back of her tongue. He pulled out a little. "Don't spit any out," he said, as a second spurt spilled inside.

Her tongue worked against him as she swallowed what he dripped inside. "Good girl," he said, stroking her hair gently.

The door opened. "Lila, right on time. I think the cum slut needs a glass of wine." Chantal watched them share a glance. He nodded. "You may have a taste."

Lila kneeled beside Chantal. She cradled Chantal's head gently and kissed her. Lila's tongue begged entrance to her mouth and Chantal gave in. Mistress's tongue explored every crevice of Chantal's mouth. Then she pulled back and stood up. A moment later she was holding a glass of wine to Chantal's mouth. Chantal grabbed the glass and emptied it.

"Don't enjoy my vintage of wine?" William asked. He sounded amused.

"Just thirsty Sir," Chantal replied.

"Crawl back to the bed and lay face down."

She winced as she crawled to the bed. She climbed up onto the bed and eased herself down on her front. Her nipples compressed painfully between her body and the bed was enough to make her whimper. She didn't have long to dwell on it, because his belt came down against her ass.

"A reward for doing a good job with the cock sucking."

A reward? her brain protested. Slap!

"Count to ten."

She counted each blow as it came down on her. And then it was over. She realized that tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Have you had enough?" he asked.

A second before she thought she'd had.

"If you have, you can go and we'll never see you again. It'll be over. Just a bad dream."

She leveraged herself up. "No. I don't want to go."

"Ask me for more."

"Please can I have some more."

"More what?"

"Please can I have some more pain. More pleasure."

"Would you like ten more?"

"If you wish Sir."

"Not now, Slave. Later." He rubbed his hand over her ass. She gasped. "I'm glad you want more. There's so much more I want to show you. It is very late. Or early."

"It is Sir. Do you wish to sleep?"

"Almost. A few more things. Push your knees up under yourself, ass in the air." Chantal assumed the described position. "Have you ever had a butt plug in?"

"Yes. A few times."

"The larger size please, Lila."

Chantal wanted to look what size they planned to use. She didn't dare move. It wasn't too large, she thought as she felt it pressing into her asshole. He pushed it in and Chantal wiggled with pleasure at the familiar stretching.

"To show you how kind I am to my slaves, I will let you pleasure your mistress. Poor Lila has been watching without pleasure all night."

"Thank you Sir," Lila said.

"Go lay on the bed, slut." Within seconds Lila was laying on the bed next to Chantal. She noticed Mistress was wearing nipple clamps as well.

"Slave, you may use your mouth only."

Chantal moved between Lila's legs. She used her tongue to part Lila's bare slit. Lila's cunt was sopping wet. Chantal wondered if it was becuase William had touched her or just from watching Chantal's tortorous pleasure.

Chantal lapped up mistress's erotic juices. Then she played with the woman's clit.

Lila was moaning and twisting her hips. Chantal felt her own cunt flood again at Lila's desire. She pressed her thighs togehter and rubbed them back and forth.

A slap made her stop. "Spread your legs, Slave." Chantal spread her legs again. The vibrator, a little buzz than before, pressed against her clit. "Whoever holds out the longest to come sleeps on the bed."

Chantal concentrated on Lila's clit. She sucked and nibbled and licked. If she could use her fingers to thrust inside Mistress, it would be easier. Faster.

Master wiggled the plug inside Chantal ass. The vibrator turned up. She didn't have time to protest fairness of his actions. She had to make Lila come. The wiggling stopped, instead, he thrust three fingers inside of her. She bucked her hips against them, fucking his fingers. And then she felt the pleasure overcoming everything else as she climaxed.

"Whenever you wish, Lila. She's come now."

And before Chantal could register her defeat, Lila was coming. Liquid squirted from her body onto Chantal's face. Chantal lapped up as much of it as she could, lest she catch shit for missing it.

"Sit up Slave." Chantal sat back on her heels. "Oh, she ejaculated all over you. A nice talent of hers."

Chantal nodded. William tossed her a towel and she wiped her face. "Thank you Sir," Chantal mimicked Lila.

"I made up the bed on the floor."

"Thank you Sir," she repeated. "May I ask something?"


"Am I sleep with the clamps and plug?"

"Yes, you are, Slave. And your hands tied in case you want to touch yourself. You aren't satisfied yet are you?"

Chantal blushed as she stared at the floor. "Not yet."

"Eyes always looking at me, Slave."

Chantal lifted her gaze to him.

"Lila are you alright?"

"Yes. Just dreamy. And happy I get to sleep on the bed tonight, Sir."

"I knew you'd last until I gave you permission."

Lila smiled up at him.

"You may go relieve yourself, Slave. Lila will change the sheets since she made the mess."

Chantal went to the bathroom quickly. When she returned she helped Lila finish the bed change.

William bound her hands to her sides. "Keeps your hands from straying until I trust you. Tonight the temptation will be too great."

He was right about that. But she didn't say it aloud. When she was bound, he helped her to a prone position. He kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you are going to stay. You are proving to be a good Slave."

"Thank you Sir." The lights went off. "You may lay down in the bed," Master said to Lila.

Despite her exhaustion, it was a long time before Chantal fell asleep.

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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Chantal Part 3: Lila's Turn on Top

Contination from Third Time's the Charm

Lila lowered her onto the bed. "Shall I undress her?"

"Get the wine first. In the ice bucket."

Chantal was drifting in bliss and denied frustration. Her gaze was on the canopy above the bed but her attention was held deep within her body. Lila was loathe to leave her in such a state.

Leaving William alone with her. To do what he wanted without Lila witnessing. The first times with a new slave were like magic. Watching as Master tested their limits, showed them just what they could handle.

At first he would give them what they begged for. Slowly, he would start denying them and demanding silence as he flogged them or fucked them. His choice of weapon depended on his mood.

He would rather use force tonight, she mused as she went down to the kitchen. His house was very beautiful. The housekeeper kept it immaculately clean during the day. And in the evening Lila was tasked with servitude. Both menial and sexual.

He would rather use force tonight, but he would refrain. Chantal wasn't ready for it yet. She hadn't learned to deny her pleasure. She would be well versed before the night was out.

Lila smiled as she filled the ice bucket. She placed a piece on her tongue just before she stuck the wine bottle in. The glasses were already in the room. She tucked the bucket under her left arm and grabbed a bowl of fruit with her right hand.

She returned with haste to the bedroom, anxious to find out if Master had Chantal naked now. Or if he had found some other form of torture.

With deep interest she opened the door to the dimly lit room.

He was hovered over the bed, over Chantal's limp form. Lila resisted the urge to rush to his side, to see what he was doing to her new find. She felt a certain protectiveness over Chantal that she'd never felt for the others.

Perhaps it was the vulnerability she had been feeling when she met Chantal. She had been ready to leave William because she felt she was no longer a good submissive to him. Their last girl had been with them too long and Lila had gotten too used to be dominate.

It had taken Chantal to show that she could be submissive. And she would learn to be a sub and a dom this time. She wanted to make Chantal stay. Along with being attracted to Chantal she also genuinely liked the girl. Despite her willfulness, she would make a great slave. The best slaves were willful.

Lila slid the contents of her hands onto the side table. "Would you like a glass of wine Sir?"

"Yes. I will have a half glass while you undress the Slave." He tossed something on the bed. "Then dress her in those."

Lila poured him a glass and then hurried to the bedside. "May I kiss her first?" Her desire for a taste of Chantal was overwhelming at this range.


Lila smiled and bent her head to Chantal. She pressed her lips to Chantal's. The girl reacted with pressure of her own. Both their lips parted and Lila dipped her tongue in, tentative at first, then sweeping, demanding.

"That's enough," Master said from across the room. He sounded disinterested in the scene. But Lila knew she was about to take things further than just a kiss in a moment more.

Lila pulled back and wiped her lips. She felt some of Chantal's keyed up, nervous energy. The burning between her legs making the slave girl ready to beg for release. She wouldn't; she wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction. She would want to show her will, her strength.

Lila helped her sit up. She unzipped the back of her dress and shimmied it off her shoulders. It was the same dress Chantal had been wearing the night the two women had met. Chantal helped take it off.

"Lay down and close your eyes." Lila whispered, tossing the dress aside. She touched the chained clamps that lay beside Chantal on the bed. They were cold. She closed her palms around them, wishing she could warm them first.

"Why?" Chantal asked.

"Because I said," Lila hissed. "Don't question your Mistress" SHe would have given a quick slap but Master hadn't given her leave to do so.

"Sorry," Chantal mumbled, dropping her gaze.

"Eyes up slave." They would stop using her name until she was full submitted to them.

Chantal lifted her eyes to meet Lila's. "Better. Now close your damn eyes. And concentrate on your breathing."

Once her eyes were closed, Lila picked up the clamp. She pinched a nipple until it hardened slightly. Then she latched the clamp onto it.

Chantal's eyes flew open, her hand flew to her breast and she let out a cry. "Ow, what the fuck."

"Tonight you start to make pain mean pleasure and pleasure mean pain." It sounded cliche, Lila thought. But, as she thought about how she looked forward to pain as well as the pleasure, she wanted Chantal to feel the same.

Lila pushed Chantal's hands away. "I told you to focus on your breathing." In sympathy Lila winced when she clamped the second nipple.

Master's arms came around Lila. He rubbed her breasts through her shirt. "Watching her squirm turns you on," he said.

"You know how pain excites me. And I can't wait to see her come over it. Through it."

Master chuckled. "You want to make her come."

"Of course." Lila lowered her gaze, but he grabbed her chin and lifted it.

"Perhaps later, my little pain slut. Right now, remove your shirt and clamp yourself. While I start with our little slave." He pulled something from his pocket and sat on the bed next to Chantal.

Lila went to the toy drawer and found a second set of nipple clamps. She unbuttoned her shirt and set it aside on a chair. She rubbed and pinched her nipples, readying them. Her breath hissed when she snapped the clamps on. Fluid flooded her pussy.

As she moved toward the bed, she heard a low buzzing. She stopped when her thigh touched William's knee. She resisted the urge to rub herself against him. She forced her concentration on what he was doing to Slave.

She was trembling. Her lips were moving wordlessly. Lila smiled, her eyes travelling to Master's hand pressed between her legs. He was pressing a vibrator against her clit. The girl must be in agony, waiting to come, but struggling because of the distraction of pain.

Lila wouldn't be so distracted. She would have come twice by now. The picture before her left her pussy sopping. "Stop rubbing against me Lila."

She realized she was all but humping his leg. She lowered her head again. "Sorry Sir."

He tugged on her nipple clamp. "See that you control yourself."

"Yes Sir. It won't happen again."

He bent over Chantal and removed one of the clamps. He sucked the nipple into his mouth. The gentle touch pushed her over the edge and she bucked violently as she came. When she stilled, he withdrew his mouth and the vibe. He replaced the clamp.

"Do you feel better Slave?" he asked.

Chantal shook her head. "I don't know. My nipples feel like they are on fire and my pussy just wants to come over and over."

"You will," he smiled menacingly. She would come until she felt she was coming apart at the seams.

"May I go pee Sir?" Lila asked.

"Yes, but don't even wipe yourself Lila. You may not touch yourself outside my presence tonight."

Lila nodded. "Yes Sir." She headed for the door. Just before she slipped out, she heard Master say, "Off the bed Slave."

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